For over 76 years, he carried his name across the world. He touched lives everywhere he went. Stop here a while and tell us your story about how he affected your life.
"For I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing."
Brother Simpson was a a friend to preachers. He opened his pulpit as well as his heart. I will always have my memories of those times that I was honored to minister in his pupit. He will be missed and remembered.
Bro. Simpson was a man I was honored to call friend. My wife Betty and I first met he and Sis. Simpson at the KY campground, summer 1996, while on our first deputation travel before coming to Norway. Bro. Simpson put us instantly at ease with his open and warm spirit. It seemed we had know him for years. That friendship has remained over the years. The world is a better place because he lived. I already miss him greatly and look forward to the reunion in glory soon. Sam Speer
There's a song that says, When anyone looks at me, let them see Jesus. I can truly say that Bro. Ronald effectively pointed the way for me. So many times in this life I have lost my way and true to his shepherd's heart, he was always mindful of the wandering sheep. Forgive me if I'm lengthy, but the impact that he left in my life is unmistakable. I grew up around the church, my mom never quite committing when were young. But I really loved church as a child and Bro. Ronald's was the only church I really knew. When we weren't at church, Bro. Simpson was on our phone. I don't mean one or two Sundays....years. Saturdays were when he'd make his calls, mornings usually. I can remembering answering the phone as a child and knowing the unmistakable voice on the other end. And if my parents weren't there, that was fine, he'd put me into action. "Tell your mother we miss her. Tell her to bring you on to Sunday School". As a child of 3 I had it in my head that I wanted to be a singer. Bro. Simpson used to tell me the story about how I asked him over and over to let me sing at church until he finally gave in and said, O.K. Not all preachers would've entertained the desires of a 3 yr old. As a 30 yr old I still love to worship the Lord in song and I'm grateful for his help. He made a way for me to go to church camp as a child although I was too young to go and no adult in my family was going. Even after I started going home early, he kept taking me the next year. The 2nd year I went, I first received the Holy Ghost at 8 yrs old. I know that this is what kept me through some trying times growing up and what brought me back to the Lord later. When I decided to get married, there was no question in my mind the man that I wanted to bless and perform my ceremony. And although I hadn't seen him in years, Bro. Simpson. obliged. Shortly thereafter, my husband and I, T.J., gave our lives to the Lord and were blessed to attend church with Bro. Simpson. For a time, we sat on the pew behind him. There so much about him that I could say. He was one of a kind and he always a friend. I've talked with him when I was in church and when I was too far gone, and he never treated me any differently except to ask me if I was going to church and to tell me to get there. In my valleys, he was a friend. This man who introduced me to the existence of eternity and tried to answer our questions along the way is gone. But I'm so glad he introduced me to the One that he got all his answers from, and someday, I'll see him again and get to hear him shout "Well Glory!" once more. Today I can say, I've got more to go to Heaven for than I had yesterday.
It is very hard for me to describe how I feel about Brother Simpson. But if I could write one thing he taught me it would be don't let satan deceive you. He help me through a very trying time in my walk with the Lord. I want to thank God for the time I had with him. He is a great man of God and he will be sadly missed. I am praying for Sis. Simpson and the family in this time of loss. I miss singing with Sis simpson on Tues. nights. I remember Brother Simpson saying he couldn't sing a lick. But we can be rest assured that he has a heavenly voice now. May God give all of you the strength to carry on.
I wish I could tell you all that you meant to me.. all the things I have to thank you for..Thank you for raising your son to be the man he is.. he is a wonderful person.
Thank you for always making me feel like a welcome member of the family.. I never felt like an outsider..
Thank you for helping me to find my place and getting me started on the road that led me to Sunday afternoon's being filled with the Holy Ghost and to being baptized last night in the name of Jesus Christ.. I always wanted you to baptize me when the time came. I asked Brother Rudd to stand in for you.. Mom was there and I could feel in my heart you standing beside her..
I will miss you in so many ways.. I will miss you picking on me.. teaching me... answering questions.. and just being there.. Ron said the other night that you would be proud of me for asking all the questions I have been asking in my quest to please God.. That made me very happy to think you would be proud of me.. I hope as my journey with the Lord continues I will always feel that my choices are ones you could be proud of..
You were one of my closest friends. You taught me so many things with your life. You taught me how to love the Lord above all other, how to then love my wife and family, then the people of God. Next you taught me the value of hard work.
These are lessons that I will never forget. If I grow old and am half the man, father and role model that you were, my life was well spent.
He had a ready smile and a quick wit. He never met a stranger. No one could ask for a better father or friend.
Words fail me as I try to say what Bro. Simpson has meant to me. My husband and I met him and Sis. Simpson over 40 years ago. Our life has been greatly enriched having him as a friend. In the hardest times of my life he was there, reaching out a hand to help me through those bad times. I am thankful for his confidence in me. I will never forget all the encouragement and love he showed me and my family. What a wonderful servant of God he has been. I look forward to seeing him again in a land of no more tears. Ottis & Glinda Rudd
There will never be enough room on this page, or any page to tell all the things you have meant to me. I could never express all the ways you have shown me how you loved me over the years, and in turn showed me how to show my own love. You showed me that, besides God's spirit, the most precious thing on earth is people. You always told me that if we could just get people to fall in love with God, everything else would fall into place. I doubted that sometimes, but have come to realize that you were ultimately right. You taught me that love is sometimes giving, and sometimes withholding. You taught me that while love may sometimes be hard, it is never unkind. You showed me how to love the person, without loving the action, when necessary. No, there will not be room here, or in posts to come, but I have time to tell you, and show others, what it was to be your proud son.
I said this in an email to a friend. I thought I would share it here as well.
Paul Harvey said, in one of his broadcasts that I heard years ago, that a man has learned to live with himself when he can drive around the block without turning on the radio. My morning drive to work is 17 miles. Depending on the volume and speed of traffic (8.3 miles is on a country road) I can make it to work in 25 to 30 minutes. My new morning commute generally consists of the radio being off and me talking with God as I drive. It has certainly taught me a few things about myself and drawn me closer to Him.
It feels different this time. Typing this now, I can feel the presence of God around me. The tears fight to be set free as I try to hold them back. At first I thought it was a by-product of the grief from Dad's passing. I know realize it is part of the overwhelming thankfulness I feel to God for loving me enough to say, "Come home."
My daughter, Chasity, and her husband, Chris, are now attending Bro McGraw's church. My Ex and her hubby are attending as well.
None of this, Tammy, Me, My daughter and hubby, or Ex and hubby would have happened as it did without the passing of Dad. I know God didn't take him for that reason. However, I do know that if God had said to dad, "I can save them all, but you will have to come home first," he would have said, "Take me now."
I am convinced that God gave Dad peace about all of these things. He never let go of the promise that God made to him.
Joseph came to the field where his brother were. One of them, seeing Joseph said, "Behold, this dreamer cometh." There is no Hebrew word for "dreamer". In the original text, it is a compound word, Baal Chalom, Which literally means "owner of the dream." Joseph shared his dream with his brothers and Jacob. The Bible says in Gen. 37.11 that his brothers hated him for his dreams, but his father observed the saying. Jacob kept the dream.
When his brothers sold Joseph and told Jacob that he was dead, Jacob mourned. The dream died in Jacob's heart. However, later, when told that Joseph was indeed alive and a powerful ruler in Egypt, Jacob rejoiced. The Bible says in Gen 45.27 that the spirit of Jacob revived. The very next verse says, "And Israel said .." Jacob meant 'deceiver, surplanter, trickster', but Israel meant 'a prince having power with God'. What made the difference? The dream was alive again.
Dad's dream never died. He remained 'Baal Chalom'. His heart knew that his dream would survive him. This I know in my heart.
Brother Simpson called himself our long distance Pastor. We were honered that he claimed us. Calvin says, "He was a light and inspiration to me, and I always enjoyed trading ties with him. I'm glad I was able to tell him how much he has meant to me." Joy says, "He was like the father I never had." Phylis says, "I really enjoyed the camp meetings with Bro. Simpson. We enjoyed the talks and fellowship. The Whitt family
There are too many memeries and not enough words or space on this page to say them all. I have my memeries of my papaw and I will cherish them for the rest of my life. I only hope I'm half the grandparent to my grandchildren that you and mamaw were to me and the rest of them, all 35 of them. I know you are now watching over us all and I hope you are proud of me and the decisions I make. I love you so much. You will always be in my heart.
I have looked at this blog every day since you've been gone, trying to think of what to say, and how to say it. But the truth is that I could never explain how much you have meant to me in my life. No words could express how much I love you and how much I adored you. I know that I was so fortunate to have you as my papaw, and as my friend. You were such a big part of my life for so long, and you still are, and will always be. There isnt a day that goes by that I dont think of you and wish you were still here. But I know that where you are is a much better place for you. And I know that you are happy, and not in pain anymore and that gives me contentment.
When I think about memories of you, the one that sticks in my mind the most is when you would be on the pulpit preaching, and Marie and I would be talking, you would always just stop and snap your fingers at us, and say "Girls! Quit that!" And of course we would say okay but we never meant it really. And we always thought that would be the end of it, just a couple of snaps of the fingers. But you proved us wrong, didn't you. Well I can tell you this much papaw, you got my attention when you sat me on that pulpit with you to keep us from talking. Thats for sure.
Or how about the time that I wrecked our car into your cadillac? I still remember the fear I felt when I had to go tell you what I had done. I even remember locking myself in the bathroom to avoid telling you. But of course, that didn't work. I swear that walk up to the pulpit to tell you was the longest and scariest walk I have ever taken. And all you did was hug me and tell me it was okay. That everyone has accidents. But then you explained that even though it was an accident, I still had to pay for it. And ya know what, I dont think I finished paying you for that. Of course that would have taken the rest of my life with your payment plan of $25 a month. But thats how you were. Always doing for everyone else no matter what the cost was to you.
Well I guess this is long enough. The most important thing of all is that I love you papaw. And I will always remember you, and how much you meant to me. And it's my plan that I will see you again. And I'm going to make sure of it. I love you.
It has been a while since I said anything here. I come visit every now and then. I call the cell phone that mom kept. It still has your voice on it.
I was in a service recently with some friends of yours from the western part of the state. Sister Clemmons paid me a great compliment. She told me that I reminded them of you. It seems she thinks we share a quite similar spirit. We also have the same outgoingness. It filled my heart with warmth for someone to see you in me. There are lots of people in this world vying for the position of role model for our youth. I had a great one when I was growing up. I hope to be more like you in many ways.
well papaw, its been a year and a half now and i miss you just as much as ever. I am having a hard time right now dealing with what happened that lead to you dying. I am having surgery in a few days in the same hospital and today was the first day I have been back to that hospital since you died. It was alot harder than I realized it would be, as I was walking to the front door all I could remember was walking in the day you died. I remembered it like it was yesterday. I never realized I could miss someone so much. I am having a hard time putting my trust in this hospital to take care of me. I dont even know why I am writing this on here but I needed to talk to you, I needed my papaw. I guess all I want to ask is if you will watch out for me and pray for me from heaven. as much as I would love to see you, I am not quite ready yet, so watch over me like you always did, please. I love you papaw.
Hi papaw...it's been a long time since I've been on this page. I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I'm not sure why, but I have. I just watched a video that someone posted on Facebook of our church choir singing one year at camp. I was probably around 5 years old that year. But before the choir performed, you were on the pulpit talking, like you always were. I would give anything to talk to you again. I would give anything to walk in your house and see you sitting in your chair. I took for granted all the conversations I had with you. I guess I just thought I would be able to have more for a long time to come. The last memory I have of your voice was the day I talked to you after your surgery and you were telling me not to make a fuss over you, that you were just fine. Then you started fussing at the nurses because you just wante to go home. I laughed so much at that because that was so typical of you. And I knew that if you were already fussing at the nurses then you would be ok. I never expected the call from daddy telling me you had coded and were in a coma. The two weeks after that were by far the hardest weeks of my life. Saying goodbye to you ripped my heart out. It wasn't fair. I didn't have enough time with you. And I know that every other person in that room when you died felt the same way. You were such an amazing person and so special to so many people. I know you would have hated us making such a fuss over you. Had you been able to, you would have sent us all home. That's just how you were. Always worried about everyone else first. Never wanting anyone to worry over you. That's how I choose to remember you. I won't remember the way you looked in that bed. Instead, I choose to remember the devious look on your face while you waited for mamaw to turn her head so she wouldn't see you throwing wrapping paper on Christmas Eve. I choose to remember the jokester that would call me and ask what I wanted and the conversation that followed about it being you that called me. Or when you would call me just to tell me to hush once I answered the phone. I don't think you understood just how much you meant to me and how much of an impact you made in my life. I hope and pray that you knew how much I loved you, though. And how much I still love you, to this day.
I miss you so much. My heart hurts just as much as it did almost 10 years ago. I guess I keep waiting for it to get easier but I don't think it's gonna happen. This time of year is especially hard though. What I wouldn't give to walk in and see you sitting in your chair this Christmas Eve. I can't believe it will be 10 years in a few months. I can still hear your voice in my head like it was just yesterday that I talked to you. I just miss you so much!
Ronald Simpson Sr.
18 comments:
Dad,
I can hear you say it.
"For I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing."
Thanks for a legacy like that.
Brother Simpson was a a friend to preachers. He opened his pulpit as well as his heart. I will always have my memories of those times that I was honored to minister in his pupit. He will be missed and remembered.
Joe Atkins
Bro. Simpson was a man I was honored to call friend. My wife Betty and I first met he and Sis. Simpson at the KY campground, summer 1996, while on our first deputation travel before coming to Norway. Bro. Simpson put us instantly at ease with his open and warm spirit. It seemed we had know him for years. That friendship has remained over the years. The world is a better place because he lived. I already miss him greatly and look forward to the reunion in glory soon.
Sam Speer
There's a song that says, When anyone looks at me, let them see Jesus. I can truly say that Bro. Ronald effectively pointed the way for me. So many times in this life I have lost my way and true to his shepherd's heart, he was always mindful of the wandering sheep. Forgive me if I'm lengthy, but the impact that he left in my life is unmistakable. I grew up around the church, my mom never quite committing when were young. But I really loved church as a child and Bro. Ronald's was the only church I really knew. When we weren't at church, Bro. Simpson was on our phone. I don't mean one or two Sundays....years. Saturdays were when he'd make his calls, mornings usually. I can remembering answering the phone as a child and knowing the unmistakable voice on the other end. And if my parents weren't there, that was fine, he'd put me into action. "Tell your mother we miss her. Tell her to bring you on to Sunday School". As a child of 3 I had it in my head that I wanted to be a singer. Bro. Simpson used to tell me the story about how I asked him over and over to let me sing at church until he finally gave in and said, O.K. Not all preachers would've entertained the desires of a 3 yr old. As a 30 yr old I still love to worship the Lord in song and I'm grateful for his help. He made a way for me to go to church camp as a child although I was too young to go and no adult in my family was going. Even after I started going home early, he kept taking me the next year. The 2nd year I went, I first received the Holy Ghost at 8 yrs old. I know that this is what kept me through some trying times growing up and what brought me back to the Lord later. When I decided to get married, there was no question in my mind the man that I wanted to bless and perform my ceremony. And although I hadn't seen him in years, Bro. Simpson. obliged. Shortly thereafter, my husband and I, T.J., gave our lives to the Lord and were blessed to attend church with Bro. Simpson. For a time, we sat on the pew behind him. There so much about him that I could say. He was one of a kind and he always a friend. I've talked with him when I was in church and when I was too far gone, and he never treated me any differently except to ask me if I was going to church and to tell me to get there. In my valleys, he was a friend. This man who introduced me to the existence of eternity and tried to answer our questions along the way is gone. But I'm so glad he introduced me to the One that he got all his answers from, and someday, I'll see him again and get to hear him shout "Well Glory!" once more. Today I can say, I've got more to go to Heaven for than I had yesterday.
It is very hard for me to describe how I feel about Brother Simpson. But if I could write one thing he taught me it would be don't let satan deceive you. He help me through a very trying time in my walk with the Lord. I want to thank God for the time I had with him. He is a great man of God and he will be sadly missed. I am praying for Sis. Simpson and the family in this time of loss. I miss singing with Sis simpson on Tues. nights. I remember Brother Simpson saying he couldn't sing a lick. But we can be rest assured that he has a heavenly voice now. May God give all of you the strength to carry on.
Dad..
I wish I could tell you all that you meant to me.. all the things I have to thank you for..Thank you for raising your son to be the man he is.. he is a wonderful person.
Thank you for always making me feel like a welcome member of the family.. I never felt like an outsider..
Thank you for helping me to find my place and getting me started on the road that led me to Sunday afternoon's being filled with the Holy Ghost and to being baptized last night in the name of Jesus Christ.. I always wanted you to baptize me when the time came. I asked Brother Rudd to stand in for you.. Mom was there and I could feel in my heart you standing beside her..
I will miss you in so many ways.. I will miss you picking on me.. teaching me... answering questions.. and just being there.. Ron said the other night that you would be proud of me for asking all the questions I have been asking in my quest to please God.. That made me very happy to think you would be proud of me.. I hope as my journey with the Lord continues I will always feel that my choices are ones you could be proud of..
With Love
Tammy
Dad,
You were one of my closest friends. You taught me so many things with your life. You taught me how to love the Lord above all other, how to then love my wife and family, then the people of God. Next you taught me the value of hard work.
These are lessons that I will never forget. If I grow old and am half the man, father and role model that you were, my life was well spent.
He had a ready smile and a quick wit. He never met a stranger. No one could ask for a better father or friend.
Thanks for an incredible heritage and legacy.
Words fail me as I try to say what Bro. Simpson has meant to me. My husband and I met him and Sis. Simpson over 40 years ago. Our life has been greatly enriched having him as a friend. In the hardest times of my life he was there, reaching out a hand to help me through those bad times. I am thankful for his confidence in me. I will never forget all the encouragement and love he showed me and my family. What a wonderful servant of God he has been. I look forward to seeing him again in a land of no more tears. Ottis & Glinda Rudd
Dad,
There will never be enough room on this page, or any page to tell all the things you have meant to me. I could never express all the ways you have shown me how you loved me over the years, and in turn showed me how to show my own love.
You showed me that, besides God's spirit, the most precious thing on earth is people. You always told me that if we could just get people to fall in love with God, everything else would fall into place. I doubted that sometimes, but have come to realize that you were ultimately right.
You taught me that love is sometimes giving, and sometimes withholding. You taught me that while love may sometimes be hard, it is never unkind. You showed me how to love the person, without loving the action, when necessary.
No, there will not be room here, or in posts to come, but I have time to tell you, and show others, what it was to be your proud son.
I said this in an email to a friend. I thought I would share it here as well.
Paul Harvey said, in one of his broadcasts that I heard years ago, that a man has learned to live with himself when he can drive around the block without turning on the radio. My morning drive to work is 17 miles. Depending on the volume and speed of traffic (8.3 miles is on a country road) I can make it to work in 25 to 30 minutes. My new morning commute generally consists of the radio being off and me talking with God as I drive. It has certainly taught me a few things about myself and drawn me closer to Him.
It feels different this time. Typing this now, I can feel the presence of God around me. The tears fight to be set free as I try to hold them back. At first I thought it was a by-product of the grief from Dad's passing. I know realize it is part of the overwhelming thankfulness I feel to God for loving me enough to say, "Come home."
My daughter, Chasity, and her husband, Chris, are now attending Bro McGraw's church. My Ex and her hubby are attending as well.
None of this, Tammy, Me, My daughter and hubby, or Ex and hubby would have happened as it did without the passing of Dad. I know God didn't take him for that reason. However, I do know that if God had said to dad, "I can save them all, but you will have to come home first," he would have said, "Take me now."
I am convinced that God gave Dad peace about all of these things. He never let go of the promise that God made to him.
Joseph came to the field where his brother were. One of them, seeing Joseph said, "Behold, this dreamer cometh." There is no Hebrew word for "dreamer". In the original text, it is a compound word, Baal Chalom, Which literally means "owner of the dream." Joseph shared his dream with his brothers and Jacob. The Bible says in Gen. 37.11 that his brothers hated him for his dreams, but his father observed the saying. Jacob kept the dream.
When his brothers sold Joseph and told Jacob that he was dead, Jacob mourned. The dream died in Jacob's heart. However, later, when told that Joseph was indeed alive and a powerful ruler in Egypt, Jacob rejoiced. The Bible says in Gen 45.27 that the spirit of Jacob revived. The very next verse says, "And Israel said .." Jacob meant 'deceiver, surplanter, trickster', but Israel meant 'a prince having power with God'. What made the difference? The dream was alive again.
Dad's dream never died. He remained 'Baal Chalom'. His heart knew that his dream would survive him. This I know in my heart.
Brother Simpson called himself our long distance Pastor. We were honered that he claimed us. Calvin says, "He was a light and inspiration to me, and I always enjoyed trading ties with him. I'm glad I was able to tell him how much he has meant to me." Joy says, "He was like the father I never had." Phylis says, "I really enjoyed the camp meetings with Bro. Simpson. We enjoyed the talks and fellowship. The Whitt family
There are too many memeries and not enough words or space on this page to say them all. I have my memeries of my papaw and I will cherish them for the rest of my life. I only hope I'm half the grandparent to my grandchildren that you and mamaw were to me and the rest of them, all 35 of them. I know you are now watching over us all and I hope you are proud of me and the decisions I make. I love you so much. You will always be in my heart.
Papaw,
I have looked at this blog every day since you've been gone, trying to think of what to say, and how to say it. But the truth is that I could never explain how much you have meant to me in my life. No words could express how much I love you and how much I adored you. I know that I was so fortunate to have you as my papaw, and as my friend. You were such a big part of my life for so long, and you still are, and will always be. There isnt a day that goes by that I dont think of you and wish you were still here. But I know that where you are is a much better place for you. And I know that you are happy, and not in pain anymore and that gives me contentment.
When I think about memories of you, the one that sticks in my mind the most is when you would be on the pulpit preaching, and Marie and I would be talking, you would always just stop and snap your fingers at us, and say "Girls! Quit that!" And of course we would say okay but we never meant it really. And we always thought that would be the end of it, just a couple of snaps of the fingers. But you proved us wrong, didn't you. Well I can tell you this much papaw, you got my attention when you sat me on that pulpit with you to keep us from talking. Thats for sure.
Or how about the time that I wrecked our car into your cadillac? I still remember the fear I felt when I had to go tell you what I had done. I even remember locking myself in the bathroom to avoid telling you. But of course, that didn't work. I swear that walk up to the pulpit to tell you was the longest and scariest walk I have ever taken. And all you did was hug me and tell me it was okay. That everyone has accidents. But then you explained that even though it was an accident, I still had to pay for it. And ya know what, I dont think I finished paying you for that. Of course that would have taken the rest of my life with your payment plan of $25 a month. But thats how you were. Always doing for everyone else no matter what the cost was to you.
Well I guess this is long enough. The most important thing of all is that I love you papaw. And I will always remember you, and how much you meant to me. And it's my plan that I will see you again. And I'm going to make sure of it. I love you.
Dad,
It has been a while since I said anything here. I come visit every now and then. I call the cell phone that mom kept. It still has your voice on it.
I was in a service recently with some friends of yours from the western part of the state. Sister Clemmons paid me a great compliment. She told me that I reminded them of you. It seems she thinks we share a quite similar spirit. We also have the same outgoingness. It filled my heart with warmth for someone to see you in me.
There are lots of people in this world vying for the position of role model for our youth. I had a great one when I was growing up. I hope to be more like you in many ways.
I will always love you, Dad
well papaw, its been a year and a half now and i miss you just as much as ever. I am having a hard time right now dealing with what happened that lead to you dying. I am having surgery in a few days in the same hospital and today was the first day I have been back to that hospital since you died. It was alot harder than I realized it would be, as I was walking to the front door all I could remember was walking in the day you died. I remembered it like it was yesterday. I never realized I could miss someone so much. I am having a hard time putting my trust in this hospital to take care of me. I dont even know why I am writing this on here but I needed to talk to you, I needed my papaw. I guess all I want to ask is if you will watch out for me and pray for me from heaven. as much as I would love to see you, I am not quite ready yet, so watch over me like you always did, please. I love you papaw.
Dad,
It's been quite a while. I can;t begin to tell you all the times I miss you and think of you. I hope that you are as proud of me as I am of you.
Love you... Richard
Hi papaw...it's been a long time since I've been on this page. I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I'm not sure why, but I have. I just watched a video that someone posted on Facebook of our church choir singing one year at camp. I was probably around 5 years old that year. But before the choir performed, you were on the pulpit talking, like you always were. I would give anything to talk to you again. I would give anything to walk in your house and see you sitting in your chair. I took for granted all the conversations I had with you. I guess I just thought I would be able to have more for a long time to come. The last memory I have of your voice was the day I talked to you after your surgery and you were telling me not to make a fuss over you, that you were just fine. Then you started fussing at the nurses because you just wante to go home. I laughed so much at that because that was so typical of you. And I knew that if you were already fussing at the nurses then you would be ok. I never expected the call from daddy telling me you had coded and were in a coma. The two weeks after that were by far the hardest weeks of my life. Saying goodbye to you ripped my heart out. It wasn't fair. I didn't have enough time with you. And I know that every other person in that room when you died felt the same way. You were such an amazing person and so special to so many people. I know you would have hated us making such a fuss over you. Had you been able to, you would have sent us all home. That's just how you were. Always worried about everyone else first. Never wanting anyone to worry over you. That's how I choose to remember you. I won't remember the way you looked in that bed. Instead, I choose to remember the devious look on your face while you waited for mamaw to turn her head so she wouldn't see you throwing wrapping paper on Christmas Eve. I choose to remember the jokester that would call me and ask what I wanted and the conversation that followed about it being you that called me. Or when you would call me just to tell me to hush once I answered the phone. I don't think you understood just how much you meant to me and how much of an impact you made in my life. I hope and pray that you knew how much I loved you, though. And how much I still love you, to this day.
I miss you so much. My heart hurts just as much as it did almost 10 years ago. I guess I keep waiting for it to get easier but I don't think it's gonna happen. This time of year is especially hard though. What I wouldn't give to walk in and see you sitting in your chair this Christmas Eve. I can't believe it will be 10 years in a few months. I can still hear your voice in my head like it was just yesterday that I talked to you. I just miss you so much!
Post a Comment